Discipline

People use many paths to correct what they call “bad” or undesirable behavior.  This is what has been called discipline. What is discipline exactly?  As defined by many dictionaries, discipline is 1) suffering or pain as retribution; punishment 2) a field of study 3) training that corrects or molds 4) gaining control by obedience; orderly conduct. Throughout our lives, based on choices we make, naturally we experience suffering or pain in some way.  Since this is true, why, do you suppose parents and/or adult caregivers insist on inflicting more  pain and suffering on children? Is this to prepare them for the pain and/or suffering they may face in the future?  Oh yes! Let me inflict this “good” pain on you now to prepare you for all that “bad” pain you’ll experience later in life!! Why is it called discipline  when we hit children but abuse when its done to an animal, or an elderly person, women, or someone who is disabled in some way?  Hitting is violence no matter what creative name you give it ( spanking, corrective discipline, etc.). Is it not considered violence because you ‘love” your child?

What if your husband or significant other hit you and told you that it was out of love?  Would you thank them for their loving correction or think they’re bat shit crazy and abusive and therefore leave them?

Shaming is another method people use to coerce obedience.  I’ve seen people place their children in a corner and force them to hug each other as if this will incite love, then post it to social networking sites like it’s some great feat. I’ve also seen children made to wear oversized shirts called “get along shirts” in an effort to force siblings to get along.  This is shaming. It’s also ridiculous! It solves nothing.  Do you think putting a homophobe and a gay man in a shirt together will make the homophobe like gays? NO!!  See my point?  For one thing, it teaches our children to lie when we do this.  To feign feelings that aren’t there at the moment. Then we turn around and punish them when they lie to us.

Is corporal punishment or punishment period effective?  If your goal is to raise blindly obedient and subservient children in society the answer is yes.  If your goal is to develop independent, mentally and emotionally healthy, critically thinking children the answer is no. Spanking and many punishments lead to mental imbalances which in many ways contribute  the current state of our world. Much research has been done that proves this. I liken spanking to slavery. Slaves were yelled at, punished, and beat with whips so that they would fear their owners and be obedient to their demands. However, many didn’t allow their spirits to be broken IN SPITE OF  the terrible treatment. We must look for more effective ways of disciplining our children if we want them to inherit a better world.

 

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Be happy

Some ask is it asking too much to want to be happy. My answer is NO. It’s never too much to ask because the only person responsible for your happiness is you. If you’re looking for someone/something outside of yourself to make you happy, you are giving them too much power in your life. What happens when that person or thing you “need” to make you happy leaves? Happiness is a choice. Choose to be happy. That’s it. It’s like having a job working for someone else. You’re completely dependent on them to live and making them million/billionaires. Everyone has a talent or some form of intelligence that makes them great. You only must discover what it is and live from that space or find a way to make money from it (if you choose). I know it’s easy to say but it’s also easy to do once you discover it. It takes a lot of perseverance and patience but stay focused on the process. That’s where the fun and adventure lie. Now I’m not saying go tell your boss to kiss your ass then quit lol. But while working, find your passion. Being happy is all about you whether it’s in a relationship or a job/career. Don’t let fear drive you. Look within, find your happiness, grab that bitch and say let’s get busy living! 

XO 

TED | Susan Cain: The Power of Introverts

I’m a mixture of both intro/extrovert. I’d say 80% introvert 20% extrovert lol

vialogue

The Book, the Website, the Press, and the TED talk:

When I was nine years old I went off to summer camp for the first time. And my mother packed me a suitcase full of books, which to me seemed like a perfectly natural thing to do. Because in my family, reading was the primary group activity. And this might sound antisocial to you, but for us it was really just a different way of being social. You have the animal warmth of your family sitting right next to you, but you are also free to go roaming around the adventureland inside your own mind. And I had this idea that camp was going to be just like this, but better. (Laughter) I had a vision of 10 girls sitting in a cabin cozily reading books in their matching nightgowns.

(Laughter)

Camp was more like a…

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TED | We should all be feminists – Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie at TEDxEuston (transcript)

I simply love Chimamanda! Such a powerful talk. I’m grateful to her for putting my exact thoughts into words.

vialogue

(This is a personal transcript. I take responsibility for all typos. The symbol “[–]” simply indicates African names and references unfamiliar to me.)

So I would like to start by telling you about one of my greatest friends, [–]. [–] lived on my street and looked after me like a big brother. If I liked a boy, I would ask [–]’s opinion. [–] died in the notorious [–] plane crash in Nigeria in December of 2005, almost exactly 7 years ago. [–] was a person I could argue with, laugh with and truly talk to. He was also the first person to call me a feminist. I was about 14, we were in his house, arguing, both of us bristling with half-bit knowledge from books that we had read. I don’t remember what this particular argument was about, but I remember that as I argued and argued, [–] looked at me…

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